Creating a Sanctuary of Peace

Today started out kind of rough. 1- I heard about a shooting on northside.  So...  being annoying auntie I sent my nephew a text at 5am asking if he was ok.  Of course, he doesn't respond until after 10am...  I hate teenagers sometimes lol.  2-I've been extremely cold and unable to really get warm.  To give you an idea how cold-2 pair of socks, sweat pants, wife beater, sweater, under covers and thermostat on 78.  This morning was day 2 of that sort of coldness coupled with my chest pains, dizziness with nausea, blurred vision, and muscle cramps.  These are all apart of my sometimes debilitating "new normal".  I think the chest pains scare me the most.  I try to breathe through them but they usually last much longer so I just try to sleep.  

You see my TSH level is 67.  Because my thyroid has been removed it should be under .01.  Yep, .01.  The endocrinologist told me if I have continuous heart palpitations  or chest pains to go to the ER because prolonged increased TSH can lead to heart damage...  However, my PCP says don't go to ER because unless I'm having a heart attack there's nothing they can do and this is my "new normal" right now.  So, during those times I try to sleep or do something distract myself but that isn't too strenuous.   *sigh*

I think the blurred vision is from staring at the computer screen so much.   Since I'm going on medical leave I've been looking at a sampling of employee files a lot to come up with training/focus plans while I'm out this month or so.  I'm assuming all the looking at screens has attributed to that.  So I've been rocking my glasses which I generally wear when I'm doing a lot reading. I developed a bit of a fetish of glasses after I found Zenni Optical.  Zenni offers affordable and hella cute prescription glasses.  I have a very light prescription so I can generally find glasses for under $20!!!!!  Yall know I'm frugal so that's right up my alley way but I digress. 

This morning I wasn't feel well at all but I made plans earlier in the week for my niece to come over to put my laundry up and to just bond.  We haven't spent much time together.  She can tell something's wrong but I won't really let on.  However, if you see me in my "natural state" you can tell I'm not normal Lisha.  We talked about everything I'm going through and the bit of difficulty I'm having taking care of myself because I don't know how to not be all about work.  She was able to see me "in action" as a client called me back to back with 2+ minute messages threatening to sue, cussing and calling staff everything in the book.  After about 2 hours of back and forth between my office, the client, the leasing office, outreach, my case manager, and another case manger, we had a tentative resolution which are all contingent on the client doing a lot of work.  She could only ask how do you not take that personal?  I don't take it personal because I didn't know this client therefore I knew he wasn't mad at me AND he just wants someone to listen.  Once I listen and then lead the call toward a resolution the client calmed down.  I don't take it personal but it's definitely stressful because I make decisions without 100% information and pray for success.  We'll see tomorrow...  That gets my body going/instant jolt.  I "need" to go into super Lisha mode.  

However, I channeled that and helped Lanae make my bed.  I need to slow down, get my house in order, and create a sanctuary of peace.  I've had these new linens for months but I've never switched them.  I always just washed my old ones and put them back on the bed.  It's time for a change so...  My bed and bedroom  got a mini make-over too.  It's a nice, necessary, and good change! 

Today started sourish but ended with me feeling very productive.  Also, it's 8pm and I still have some energy.  That's an awesome feeling!!!  I'm going to go put on a load of laundry.  Yall don't know how long it's been since I've had energy at 8pm.  I'm usually deep asleep. It's been 3 weeks since we started up the vitamins (I'm getting better at taking them) and my new dosage of Synthroid and Liothyronine.  Hopefully that will really assist with my energy levels and some of the other issues. 

While writing this blog I was jamming to this Rhianna Mix. Music is great therapy!