I peep shit

Why is Lisha so nice???  If that had been me... BAAAABBBBYYY!

I have friends that always say ‘God has blessed you’/'you're better than me' because I don’t always respond to situations that bother me.  I’m a great friend.  I never ever worry if I have wronged anyone.  I’m very in touch with my “emotions”/I take responsibility for my shit.  I’ll always apologize once I’m out of my feelings.  If I think a friend is upset with me I’ll reach out to them to try to remedy the situation, why?  This half/ass Christian/hippie side of me remembers never let the sun go down when you’re angry.  If I were to die the next day I don’t want someone feeling regret…  Personally, I won’t really care because I’ll be dead.  However, even in death I want people feeling good about their relationship with me.  They sure as hell won’t have time to say anything at my funeral because their won’t be a ‘Celebration of Life’ after I’m dead. 

The other reason why I don’t respond to situations because you never know what someone is going through.  While, I won’t go into details having your doctor say ‘Alisha if you don’t put you first and take care of these issues you won’t be around to help all the people you care about’.  #WakeUpCall

However, I’ve been this way for over 10 years and I’ll tell you why.  When I worked at Wal-Mart a new co-worker was hospitalized with diverticulitis.  I visited him every day he was in the hospital and gave him my number.  He was new to the area and didn’t know his number by heart and his phone was dead when I was there.  I never received a call from him.  It was a few weeks after he was released from the hospital but he had not returned to work.  I asked my Asst Mgr Troy, ‘Where’s Jeff?  When is he coming back?’  That’s when Troy told me after being released from the hospital he went to recover at his parent’s in Colorado.  While there he took a bottle of sleeping pills and died.  That hit me hard. I didn't realize there was more going on with Jeff. That was in 2003.  So for 14 years, I’ve been very careful about how I treat people.  You never know the battle someone is fighting.  I try to make emotional connections with folks so they feel comfortable reaching out to me before doing something so drastic. 

If you're reading this and are having thoughts of harming yourself, please call 1-800-273-8255 and know your life is valued, you're needed in this world, and you're loved.

  

When people look at me, they don’t know that I’ve had cancer 3 times in 2 years.  They don’t know I suffer from chronic fatigue.  You don’t see the anxiety, chest pains, frequent dizzy spells, insomnia, body aches, short term memory loss, lack of muscle coordination, stack of unpaid medical bills and moodiness.  Well you may see the moodiness.  You see what I want you to see.  You see Lisha living without a struggle, looking happy, looking cute, and using her voice/platform to help others.

I have people who don’t show up in my life but get mad when they get the same treatment.  If you ain’t with me during my struggle, I don’t need you.  If there’s anything I’ve learned in these last 2 years, folks who are truly in your corner will always have your back—and it’s not always those people who have been in your corner for 20 years.  They are just people you grew up with and that’s ok.  While some of my long term friends are still my “ride or die”, it’s friends I’ve met within the past 2 years that I would trade faster than the black delegation would trade Stacy Dash for Gary Owen. 

So understand my silence is not passive, naivety or acceptance of certain behaviors, it’s maturity and my half-ass Christian/hippie nature to always practice love, kindness, and restraint in life. 

#Peace

#Love

#Happiness

  #UnapologeticallyAlisha